Casa Corleone

Post summer update

2009-09-07T05:58:00.002-07:00

Long time no write, my bad again.
All this blogging deal just doesn't get into my routine so I often forget about it.
Anyway, as mentioned in previous posts I enrolled a master, which I'm nearly through with, and I was struggling with the last exams in University. I am one exam away from the end, still with no thesis going which leads me to think I'll have at least another 9 months of struggling. But this time I'll be done for good.
Master went ok, I was really naive thinking it would be different from other italian experiences I had in the past. On one hand I can say that connections it has with companies seem fantastic (uni has none so having some it's already better), teaching was acceptable, it made me in touch with a lot of subject I was a total stranger with. But its very organization was poor, the attitude was always intended to fix situations "the italian way" and after all I didn't like very much some of the decision taken by the direction. Final judgement is still to be done though.
Had a long summer lucky me, went to the seaside for a long time, travelled Corsica for 3 weeks so altogether it was a 40-days-long holiday. I really can't complain.

Running away from flu

2009-01-30T07:00:00.000-08:00

I got the flu. I am recovering at the moment although some more housekeeping made breathe tons of dust and I'm coughing like an old man. I hate being sick, it makes me feel useless. Apart from that, I'm through the first part of Master and on scale from one to ten I can say my happiness is around 7. February is going to be more intensive, and at the end of march there is the exam for the environmental specialization. I wanna do good, and earn the right (metaphorically speaking) to a good internship position.

Yesterday I had an awesome poker session, I was up 75€, never so much in one night before. Friends are kind these days, I feel very nicely fitting with them, we had a funny game. My poor girl has been infected by my germs, I feel deeply sorry about that, and she got a tougher version of my sickness. I hope I can do my best to make her feel confie while ill and that she can get better right away.

What else? I keep telling myself to wake up because Obama is no dream, is a (and the) real thing. Long live the king!

Back on the start line

2009-01-12T03:36:00.000-08:00

Vacation was long. I ended up being out of town for two straight weeks. It was awesome, I relaxed and had huge fun with my buddies, I spent a lot of time with my girlfriend (finally alone!) and after chilled not worrying too much about what's coming in a couple of days.
It is time now to stop wondering and start thinking serious. Master will start on wedensday, and this time no joke it will lead me way into spring. Few pauses hopefully but for the rest, a bloody hard time.
I'd like to begin playing some sort of online videogame, I miss the hours of fun I used to have last year. Hopefully it will be soon.
Apart from that today its a cleaning day which honestly sucks big time! But hey, I'd rather stay civilized now that I have enough time to choose ;)

Happy Xmas

2008-12-24T08:25:00.000-08:00

So here we are, ready once again for the big bad holy christmas show. This year my imagination is tired and I have a hard time finding anything good in this holiday I don't really give a shit about.
Things are going good for me, I'll leave in a couple of days for a short trip, just to catch some different air, and hopefully will have the chance to spend some time with my love alone. All those unbalances were fixed with the beginning of the master as I was expecting, so crisis contained for now.
The day-to-day life is extensively tiring on a number of levels, days are so long and yet weeks pass by so quick. I like most of what has occured since I began class, I can consider myself satisfied for now.
I wish those ugly mugs that still read this words a merry Xmas and a wonderful new year. Don't give up in the pursuit of your dreams,

per aspera ad astra

Few days away.

2008-11-26T04:33:00.001-08:00

December 9th, that's when the mess begins. Just in time to constrain my problem-solving capabilty. Relationships (luckly not all of them) become messy over time, and it'd require more maturity, more effort and diligence to be fixed.
People dont care much, they just keep going the same way over and over again. Unless someone takes the first step. Can then people respond to what they are told? And will they respond in the right way? Maybe...I'll find out in a few minutes.

***

Update: It appears (but i think it barely appears) that people do respond. It looks like misunderstading becomes easy during crises, hence the need to talk more and more often. It may be my natural instinct leading me to solve issues privately, quitely, that led me to this. But it could also be that certain statics are not flexible enough to understand diversity. Am I so different after all?

***

Sidenote: I really believe in people. Even when I smell something wrong, half-truths, unsaid things and so on, I always want to believe they have good intentions and what happens that goes wrong is not intentional. But then can something unintentional and spontaneous be hurting so damn much?

***

Lost thought: In two weeks from now it shall be all over. No more worring, no more balance to keep or rebuild, no more diplomacy. Events will decide for me and each second spent with someone will be a gift. It is unbelivable how differently one can percieve the same event. On one hand my master is gonna suck my life up big time, on the other one it shall keep me from making decisions, from being mistaken or misunderstood. So its a bad thing. And a good thing. I dont wanna lose nothing (or most importantly nobody) on the way. Will it be easier then, when nothing is in my power to keep/push away people, or now when I have to decide every single day on who to spend it with and in which manner.

Answers to all these questions will come in the next months, more likely in the next weeks. One thing I'm sure of: I am happy (besides today) with my life as it is. I do want the people in it to stay where they are. It is to see what happens if they dont adjust to me as they ask me to adjust to them. More to come.

untitled

2008-08-31T01:45:00.001-07:00

Wow, it's been long!
I was rearranging my life in the last months and apparently it worked out. I am living in a peaceful and dreamy state lately, due mostly to a relationship that in almost a year hasn't stopped surprising me quite yet.
School's good, not many exams away from being through. I don't feel much like studying but hey, perfection gets boring pretty rapidly ain't it?
Regardless of the few things I am wondering about, future career and future opportunities, I'd say I'm rolling pretty good.
For all those who seeked news about me recently around the Godfather's house, thank you, it's appreciated to know people think of you.
I thought many times to close this blog, it takes effort and inspiration to open up your feelings, being a personal journal. In the end i decided to keep it. It may not be adjourned often but it is a part of my last years I dont want to erase. For future memory some say. On the other hand I'll try to write more often.
The boy is back...

Adjusting in progress

2007-10-12T00:36:00.000-07:00

Earth calling Marquish, Marquish doesn't answer.
This has been the recurring theme of the last almost two months. I didn't write, I was busy planning the best way to hold on and change faith.
I am serene now, back to school, studying, alive and kickin'.
All I didn't want to happen, eventually became my everyday life. Reasoning led me not to hate it, to accept it even though this is not the place, the time, the situation I wanted to live. But hopefully it is for the best. I spoke to Lise yesterday and no question was damn hard. I miss that wonderful world (like Armstrong's) I started to dream could be my next future.
In the end I cannot complain, Rome is treating me alright. Friends are nice, I am working hard which is always rewarding and the project I left before leaving is going pretty well.
For all of those who stayed with me in California and hoped to see me again:
I am sorry, I couldn't help this from happening and I am as disappointed as you are.
Come visit me in Rome and facing a beer I'll explain everything. Y'all are more than welcome.
More to come.

Back (for a while)

2007-08-30T17:06:00.000-07:00

Here I am writing from Rome again, not really in the mood for many words. I'll just tell that the VISA situation went wrong somewhere, due evidently to US' immigration policies, and this implies that I'll certainly hang around here for a long while.
I'll write some more later, now I feel inside out.

Three Months of Madness

2007-08-21T10:15:00.000-07:00

Broke

2007-08-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

I just found out my credit card is not working anymore...
Annoying really, I thought I didn't by far ran out of money. Maybe it is just the card itself it's broken or there is something weird happening with the bank.
Though it is annoying. I have enough money to go back home but still I hoped I had something saved to do stuff in the future.

Halfway to nowhere

2007-08-19T01:25:00.000-07:00

I left the house today. A lot of people came with me to the bus station. It was great of them to come. It meant a lot to me. I managed to force the tears back to my eyes until they were there. I didn't want it to be sad. Something so beautiful such as what we had couldn't be nostalgic and melancholic in the end.
I'm in San Francisco now, on my own. I guess I need a few days to clear my thoughts. It is strange ti come back to the noises of a big city while your brain finds the oddity of silence around myself not having all the company there was in Santa Cruz.
I'll miss the guys. Since there is the reasonable possibility of a comeback anytime soon in ACE, I dont really feel like I have been separated from it. But speaking of the guys I know that many of them I might not see again. Experience taught me how hard it is to get together again. There will be a reunion in Berlin in a couple of weeks though. I'm actually thinking about going there.
Let's hope it'll be possible.
More to come.

One more project

2007-08-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I didn't have the time or I was not in the right mood to write before this time, it's been long since I posted my thoughts here. But the last month has been pretty full.
On monday we are leaving for Yosemite national park for a four days project after a rather long break. It's been a lot of fun, we partied really hard, more than ever.
And now it's again time for goodbyes, with the only exception that this time it's my turn to leave. Right after the project I'll start my journey back home. I won't hide the fact that it's hard for me to leave all this behind.

People

2007-07-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

The German guy, saying goodbye through a mass of temperamental bright-blonde hair, looked tough and cold, though I could percieve the puncturing pain of separation in his voice.
The quite Korean, the one that never speaks loud and is never in a hurry left in an early morning without making a big fuss about it. I hope someday he will finally figure out how God must look like.
The high elf, light of my days, left smiling as usual. It makes me feel better to see that what's important is what you have had rather than what you might have lost.
The crazy Italian left on an empty van riding to San Francisco Airport to meet her lover. I know she'll have fun since none else ever was that much in their own world.
The Swedish silent rock left with a luggage bigger than him in a sunny sunday morning, with the best company.
The GPS, the best surprise you'll ever recieve, will leave tomorrow on a trip to his beloved city. You still owe me a dinner, there's still time for us to say goodbye.
All this people meant everything to me here. I'll never forget.
Concerning who is here now:
The Jumping Jap, with his wide forehead and a passion for Marlboros. The companion of freesbee training and much more.
The Danish nuts, the one with a laugh that spreads around as a disease. One day I won't be jelous of your spectacular voice anymore, we should play more together.
The French community with thier gentle manners, it's so nice of you to remind me everytime how to stay civilized also being in the wild.
The Korean girls and their good spirit, always looking at the brightside.
The Italian army that just arrived with a coffee pot and some familiar humor after so long.

I am stuck in the middle, ready to start over. And not to forget y'all, for no reason.
Both present and gone people are the inspiration to make miracles happen.

Back in Town

2007-07-04T13:08:00.000-07:00

I arrived a couple of hours ago from Nevada City where the last project took place and I have a lot of energetic and good vibes. I start to be addicted to the bad ass work I've been doing lately, time is going to damn' fast. Last project was a piece of cake, we had showers, dvd player and a spectacular river nearby. Work was a little light and boring but I found ways to make it more interesting (I lumberjacked big trees using a polaski and it's muuuch better than going to the gym...).
I've waited so bad to com back to Santa Cruz that waiting one more day for what I need seems so long. Let's see what around next corner. It's kind of scary though.

New Mood

2007-06-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

I came back yesterday after a loooong drive through Arizona, Nevada and California. It was better than the last time, time flew by and we had fun. During the last project I realized a couple of things I want to change in the future, I must have been really pain in the ass in the last few weeks for those around me because of complaining all the time about me going to Arizona and stuff but from now on I decided to change. I want to be more positive, not only to stop bothering those around me, but especially to live things better. In a way what happened is that I was really upset and angry because of what happened and I felt so bad and couldn't really get over with it. So I was just doing things and communicate to people in the wrong way. Especially in Chiricahua I worked as hard as always but all the time with some shadow of unhappiness within my thoughts. It is time to stop.
Since yesterday (which of course was not the most brilliant of days, sitting in a car for 11 hours or so) I started take things easy, which is also more in the Californian style.
My next project is going to be in Stenford University (I don't really know what American Conservation Experience can do for a University, I'm curious to find out) but as usual it's not really sure until the very last day. So finger crossed everybody, this time it might be the right time.

Over the hills and far away

2007-06-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

So I am back in this beautiful hippish, surfish, summer city. Yesterday it was such a beautiful day, we played football on the beach. The sun was high and the tan was coming.
To spend a few words about my first project: it is pretty hard work. I wasn't expecting it to be that hard, the first day I wanted to commit suicide. It's only after a while that I saw the purpose and the beauty of what I was doing. I am learning to build dry walls and channels and water bars. It's called "trailwork" and involves everything is necessary to reconstruct, renew, remodel existing trails. I did it near Tucson and it was extremely hot. Until yesterday I was pretty sure my next project would have been in California but apparently since the branch has just started up here (I'm in the very first crew working here in Santa Cruz) there is not that much work to do et so we'll help the guys down in AZ to get things done. It pisses me off very much, it is frustrating that I applied for a California project and now I find myself working in Arizona for another hitch. But still I don't want to blame anybody, I see that they do everything they can and things will go the right way in a while.
Speaking about myself, there's not much to say. I enjoy the work part, the project and everything that goes with it because it really is fulfilling and self-satisfying. Though I think this is still a vacation, I'd like to have a little more night life a little better company while drinking (the US underage-no-drinking policy is a fucking joke). But best is always yet to come.

Back from Coronado

2007-06-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

I just arrived in Santa Cruz after the eight days project in Coronado, Tucson, Arizona.

It was cool, I have done impressive hard work, it was extremely hot (around 40 degrees at noon). Mostly what we do is trail reconstruction, I am learning how to build dry walls, water bars, channels and some other tricky stuff.
I wasn't maybe expecting it to be this hard but now I am so happy I came you wouldn't imagine.
I am too tired now to give details, more will follow.

A Blue Empty House.

2007-05-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

Oh God...my back is killing me. On May, 26th I met the rest of the first Santa Cruz Team ever @ the airport. I've been told afterwards that ACE (the organization I work for) has worked in AZ for a long time and just right now decided to open a branch in Santa Cruz. So I'm really happy to be part of this thing growing and I can really say I'm seeing it at the very beginning. Imagine that in the house we don't even have beds yet. Nevertheless the building itself is beautiful, a blue house on Broadway Street.
The beach is 5 min away as it is downtown. Santa Cruz is a pretty city, I think is the place where everybody wants to be in the summer: surfers, beach volley players, rappers, rockers, punks, musicians (there are plenty of music festivals). It is very expensive though.
So tomorrow I'll be off to go to Coronado Park in AZ for 8 days of hard work (with a fucking desertic climate I'm afraid).
I'll try to keep the blog adjourned between projects, for the moment take care.

On the doorstep again

2007-05-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

Last night in San Francisco after 3 really tiring days. I recovered from jet lag only today so I made all my walking tours starting at 7 AM.
Through Chinatown I made the tie knot to a mexican guy who was on his first day of work, then i explored Grant Av. and Portsmouth Sq. when the city was still asleep. I got the vibe better when I went back there in the afternoon, it is a neighborhood that is pitoresque especially for the immense activity in work hours.
From there I walked through Russian Hill to North Beach discovering one or two quite well hidden places which were asbsolutely outstanding. I hope to be able to post a few pictures later because it is hard for me to describe it.
I walked from Fisherman's Wharf through the whole Embarcadero to Market Street (it's been a huge walk).
Then today I saw Mission and Soma which are quite a bit the other side of the city. While Marina, North Beach and the Hills (Russian and Nob) are really posh, beautiful looking and clearly rich areas, these other two are poor. Lots of beggars, some junkies and drunks came to me asking for money. Didn't have any trouble though.
Tonight I made my first sociable night at the hostel, especailly because i didn't go to bed at 8...
I met an Italian Girl which made an italian fashioned coffee, an australian photographer, an argentinian guy called Santiago and a Portoriacn girl that speaks a lot of languages (I actually have doubts about her nationality I believe she has got several passports).
Best guy I met is a chef called Kevin, a New Yorker, that told me wonderful aneddots both about his US life and his Italian Roots (he didn't look really italian at first, but apparently he's got a house in Milano).
Well, that's pretty much it, there other nice things I might write but I do start being tired so i might just go to bed. Tomorrow I'll leave this place which I like, no joke, to Santa Cruz and maybe I'll find out a little bit more about what I got myself into for the next months.

Cheers

Sitting on the dock of the bay

2007-05-23T19:33:00.000-07:00

Hey there (as Akeboshi says),

I arrived today in San Francisco after a 20 hours journey that really devastated my body. My luggage got lost so for today I'm stinky and tired, I could shower buying a small towwel but couldn't change clothes...
The first impresison on the city is great, to step in a meal place and have meat loaf made me feel like a movie charachter. All the imagery we have through art, movies, music and novels is now in front of my eyes and for the moment doesn't collide that much with the dream.
More to come.

On the Doorstep.

2007-05-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

I write these lines just a few hours before leaving. California is waiting for me and I am so badly excited I'll suggest a few songs I'm listening to countinuously:

Led Zeppelin: Going to California
the Byrds: If you're going to San Francisco
Otis Redding: The Dock of the Bay
xxxx: California (the one going "California here we come" all the time)

Speaking of me, I have thought a little about my feelings before the atlantic step, I do believe the anxiety before departure is much more invasive (even though less strong) than the other times I was leaving, not because of the length of my stay, but instead for the state of mind I reached here in Rome. Last time I was leaping into mistery I needed to. The years in Rome got me so filled up of shit I couldn't really breathe. Now it is a much more voluntary choice, not forced by the environment so in a way I feel really it was me to pick this one.
I hope to be able to write as much as I'd like about this country of real mistery I'm going to. It's been years I wanted to visit the US, I always thought in a way our educational background comes from there so it'd be cocky and ignorant to speak about something without knowing the subject.
My luggages are ready, all familiar faces have been seen and kissed. Only one day away from America.

About to leave again.

2007-05-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

Here I am describing the newest anxiety pre-departure. It's been nine months here in Rome, and it was time for me to leave again. Since when I came back from Brussels, my life has taken so many turns.
I don't know if in this year I consider in conclusion I have changed as much as I did during the Erasmus one (or maybe didn't change at all...) but I do believe I understood a few things.
Some of them are definitely positive, such as the belief I have now in chances and opportunities, whose cycle is continuous and never stops. Some bad things I realized is that your past can kill you if you let it. Forgetting, hiding, regretting are dangerous things as well as living of evanescent memories of the past. Apparently things are like a wheel that never stops.

Reading above it might look I converted to Buddhism in the end...who knows, maybe one day I might spend my energies in meditation only. For the moment I am in a big rush to complete all the stuff for the journey. I don't want to speak about California yet, I thought that one week before leaving it was right to write sort of a balance of the last months.

California, here we come!

2007-04-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

I've been accepted for a summer volunteer program in California, I'll leave in around a month for Santa Cruz where I shall spend three months (until the end of summer ;op).
It is a relief what finally happened. I couldn't stand anymore those whole days of nothing, this will be both challenging and (hopefully) rewarding.
By the way, next year I'll study here in Rome once agian, which is far from an happy solution but it's pretty much the only choice.
Further news will come.

the Triumph of "Minor Arts"

2007-04-15T03:37:00.000-07:00

pag.139 secondo paragrafo.

2007-04-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

Passo avanti un'idea che viene dai miei amici ispanici.
Sostanzialmente si tratta di passare di mano in mano un post bloggato (generalmente si commenta su quello degli altri e poi si inizia nel proprio) con la citaizone delle prime cinque righe del secondo paragrafo a pag.139 del libro che si sta leggendo. So che è una cosa surreale ed ho già provveduto a coglionare come merita l'artefice del passaggio che è arrivato a me. In ogni modo proseguo e vediamo che succede.

"Quando diceva di non lavorare gli obbedivano; e facevano addirittura a gara per seguirlo nella marcia in onore dell'undicesimo anniversario della fucilazione di Francisco Ferrero a Montjuic, Barcellona."

Bruce Chatwin, In Patagonia.

The Storm has Passed

2007-04-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

Now that I have clearer mind, I rethink of what happened in the past weeks, months, year.
All of a sudden I find myself enjoying my time in Brussels even too much, deciding to stay there longer, postponing the thesis, graduation and such. Then, a sense of invincibility appears to have taken me so that I couldn't reason with clear mind. It is only now that I realize, not to have been mistaken, but to have made choices considering no possible adversity.
That's why the circumstances I should have forseen caught me so surprisingly unprepared.
I do know, on the other hand, that I've been a little unlucky, but I must be couscious that I made mistakes and cannot now avoid being responsable for those.

But as I said beginning this post, I have clearer mind now and the future appears less tragic of what I thought in the beginning. You just have to learn flexibility. The more easily you heart adapts to situations, the more versatile your mind will be. It doesn't mean to accept everything and always consider that "things will come to you one way or another". It means you have to try get everything tou can also from a second best situation, that is most of the time not a choice.
I played basketball today, for the first time since october. It's fucking hard, my body is aching in almost every part, but how satisfying it is to lay on the couch after the shower, with all your muscles thanking you for being reactivated.
The best is yet to come.

Mood for a Day

2007-03-14T08:15:00.001-07:00

It is tough for me not to feel down and out these days. There has been a concentration of bad vibe around me that I sincerely have a hard time to keep the optimistic engine going.
I've been rejected from LSE, which can appear a calculated failure to whom knows me best. And in the end it is so, I don't claim any injustice or feel unlucky, simply I played my chance on the hardest odd and came up short. Shit happens they say. What really hurts it's the complete lack of direction I have know, meaning that I don't even know what to hope for the years to come. I know swing between different hypotesis, not knowing where to go. The prospective of staying in Rome is hard, not only for my desire of starting an independent life, possibly in fairer country, but especially since what I would study here appears incredibly stupid and useless.The road that leads abroad is complicated, economically and pratically.
Following others you never arrive first, but you may not arrive. I now have to consider all sides of my situation in the next weeks and figure out what's best for me. It is certain that the great expectations I had were unaccurate. I do not own, at least right now, a good starting point.
I'll try, even if it costs me a lot, to end up like I did the other day meaning it:
The best is yet to come.

What's next? (Beauty)

2007-03-12T04:07:00.000-07:00

Behind every corner there's beauty. Showing itself suddenly, surprising and scaring. Though what I ask now it's what's next?
I have a firm convinction that best is yet to come, nevertheless what's beyond next corner is the great "?" .
Will beauty stun me once more or the sad grey of empty days is going to become abitude?
First of all I'd like this flew to pass, I hate being sick. My head's hurting and I can't focus on anything. Furtheremore I am already nervous for Champions League quarter finals against Manchester United. That's fucking hell of a team.
These are days of words not said, secrets not told, speeches not spoken, conversations not talked. I vaguely hope for good news from London, already quit hopelessly look for an internship. So what I do can't be said and what I say can't be done.
I know how much my words may sound cryptic but one day I'll explain everyone, myself in first place, I swear.
In the mean time take a look at last corner's beauty.

Explored!

2007-02-14T05:37:00.000-08:00

I'm happy to announce that I've been explored!
I'm really happy to have made it especially with a photo that is dedicated to the city I lived in all my life, good or bad as it is.
Cheers!

my, oh my.

2007-01-30T01:05:00.000-08:00

http://lavidapirata.blogspot.com/2007/01/voglia-di-volare.html

This is something that touched my soul. It had been a while the last time that happened. I'm just sorry that only the ones speaking spanish will be able to read it. It's just amazing...

Imagine & Forget

2007-01-26T07:14:00.000-08:00

I try to imagine, I try to forget.
I believe in what I don't know, I refuse what I see.
I own what's ethereal, I desire what's in my room.
I despair just to understand how happy I can be.
Imagining,
Forgetting.

(De)pressed

2007-01-15T08:03:00.000-08:00

It's been a while, though no big changes have occurred. These days of nothing have become weeks, hoping they won't horribly turn into months. It's the desolation of the jobless, the void of the unoccupied, the unbusiness. So long have stretched my days I can't recollect how fast (or slow) time passes.
It is anyway peculiar how odd can be not to find an activity, a volunteering service, simply an employer, when you have acted all your life as the "good guy". I worked so hard in University, I garduated, I read, I play, I think all the time. I saved from wasting every minute if the past three years, it truely is weird not to see these action haveing a counterbalance.
I will wait until the end of january, then I'll consider my research for that activity I spoke above concluded.
Maybe it's time to move on, to focus on the fact that I'll start again studying in september and I should spend these months left to that time for curing those activity I left a little behind. It's been weeks since I played guitar last time. The few licks I could blow into the trumpet are almost gone. My body is a wrack. Only thing I do constntly is photography.
I'm sorry I can't be more positive at this time.

Wannabe left, Photographer returns

2007-01-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

I arrived yesterday from my trip in Madrid where I spent almost two weeks. It's been a good time, I met nice people and I got along well with them.
This was also the chance to try out my new camera, and to start an activity I believe I will develop over time. If you want to check out a fewe shots they are available at www.flickr.com/photos/marquish/ or on the link on the right.
Take care and have fun

Happy new year !!

2007-01-01T13:25:00.000-08:00

Happy new year to y'all. I'm in Madrid in a dirty cybercafe, so my post can't be very long, interesting and there'll be no photos :(
I promise anyway to post something as soon as I'll be back in Rome.

Xmas time

2006-12-21T02:32:00.000-08:00

It is time to cheer up, finally the 2006 with all his darksides is ready to finish, ending a truely confuased period, at least for me. On the other hand it's time to suggest a few songs to change the normal christmas playlist:

Queen - Thank God it's Christmas
The Darkness - Christmas Time
John Lennon - Happy Christmas

This is it, just a few tips to have massive fun for Xmas. I iwsh to you all the best, I'll be in Madrid for holidays, if anyone will pass by, drop definitely to say hi. See you when Santa goes on vacation ;P

Wanna Play

2006-12-18T04:42:00.000-08:00

I need to play some basketball.
I definitely do.

Hangover

2006-12-17T03:29:00.000-08:00

I woke up a few minutes ago with the head up my butt, an amazing way to start a new day correctly. It was a cool party yesterday, people were nice and the wine kept flowing like a stream. It didn't happen often after Brussels to have such crazy nights. That's why this hangover really leaves me happy, not anger and incapable of thought like always.

In general I have no particular news, normally old people say "no news, good news" but that's just for them 'cause they're not looking for a job as I am and surely it reads "I didn't die...YET!"

It is bothering staying at home all day, I need to focus on something. And I don't like people getting mad for nothing, especially when they shout and kick objects on the ground. Cheers

Dazed and Confused

2006-12-11T00:50:00.000-08:00

Real mess...my head doesn't respond good to this unbalanced period of time, and suffers lack of direction. I do have to find something to work on.
Nevertheless, I feel shitty, I'm always cold, winter wheater depresses me very much. I hope everyone is doing alright.
These days I've been reading a biography of John Belushi, and his charachter is impressive for his thickness as an actor bonded to his weakness in dealing with drugs. I felt sad about him.
Rest in peace John

Looking for a job

2006-12-03T04:00:00.000-08:00

I'm looking for a job to avoid this desperation of being at home doing nothing. I can't waste these months on computer games whatsoever (I underline it because for World of Warcraft it might be even worthy), and even though I'm studying how to play my new wonderful trumpet, things I have to do are really few.
I'm writing now after a boring roman night, like the ones it happens too often ti live. There was an interesting program, Jeff Mills was playing @ Brancaleone, but it was sold out. Then we tried somewhere else to dance a little but there was a gay night expensive and unacceptably glamourous. So tired and depressed we crashed in a sort of lounge bar...how sad.
I hate fucking roman nights. People really look boring and selfish, it's not easy at all to get to know somebody. In Rome if you meet someone new is because you're introduced to them, not because you met them somewhere accidentally. This really freaks me out, especially if you think I met my girlfriend at the metro stop. I feel lonely in Rome, it looks to me it's damn hard to get to know people. Everyone has their friends and that's it, groups are rigid. Hope things will change someday, or I will move definitely somewhere else for good.
Cheers

D.O.C.

2006-11-24T02:51:00.000-08:00

It's with extreme happiness that I announce my graduation with top grade and special mention of the commission, after these months of hard work. I thought I deserved a little vacation so I spent a week in Madrid with my beautiful love, that's also why I didn't notice first about what happened. Now I'm back in Rome in the awful renovations of the house and a lot of free time. I have to get done a few things in a hurry since there's not much time to forward the application for LSE. In the meantime I'm enjoying the party that follows the graduation, the fact that people are calling me Doc., and surely my regained freedom (even though it scares me a little that for the first time in I don't know how many years I get up in the morning with nothing to do). Take care godsons waiting for further words to come, I shit you not.

Discussion

2006-11-14T01:31:00.000-08:00

Discussion tomorrow.

The strategy chosen follows:

The lonely hero against bad guys.

Time for words ended...FIGHT!

Rock 'n Roll

2006-11-08T05:23:00.000-08:00

Band rearshal
(Photo by Gianmarcolodi --> flickr.com)

Saturday night at home

2006-11-05T07:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday it was a normal saturday here in Rome, except maybe for the unusual cold that came from one day to the other, and for once since a long time I stayed in. I wasn't at all into going out so I watched a movie with a glass of wine, played a little with wonderful computer game of Star Wars, and went to bed after reading a little. It was good, I definitely needed to rest (as a proof I woke up at noon today). It is unlikely to hear from me staying home, especially on weekends, but I'm starting to realize I haven't rest in a long time. Since summer 2004 I have had almost no vacation, I've always been doing stuff, I've worked etc... In the end my brain, more than mt body, needs a time off. That is why it is probably for the best that until xmas I'll be finally free. To say that it doesn't mean at all that I'll be unconscious on my bed watching the celing...but of course I'll take my rythm, or better I'll chill, to use a current expression. Only a few days to go.

Megalomania

2006-11-01T05:12:00.000-08:00

Rainy afternoon in Rome, no chance to go play whatever outside...I just thought a little of God and his miterious ways, which I not only don't comprehend, but also don't approve. Anyway I want to give a little tip speaking about God's methods:

Megalomania - Muse - Origin of Simmetry - 2001

Feel like

Graduation

2006-10-26T05:17:00.000-07:00

Finally the calendar for thesis' discussion has been published and I'll be up on Nov 15th in the afternoon. The date sound actually cool, I have a little more time to prepare, but the commission is tough. Besides my professor and Pangallo's, two economists, there are two law professors, for reasons still unknown, which are by the way the dean and his assitent. This causes a few problems concerning in first place the discussion itself since I would have wanted to speak about econ stuff graduating in political economy, and in addiction that now I'll have to study the menutia about regional law. To give a perception about how shitty it would be, imagine that to know all the reforms done in the repubblican history would be like counting all Mike Jagger's shags... On the other hand I do believe the presence of the dean might produce some sort of political gerarchic tension between professors which I'd avoid in order to get the best grade.
Well, it's pretty much everything I had to say, further info will come.

Madrid Days

2006-10-23T05:43:00.000-07:00

Dinner at Silvia's (from the left: Nele, Marco, Silvia, Gerardo, Andrea)

Family picture

Risitas y su cuñaoooooo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS5CzhclM9Q&mode=related&search= (to find similarities)

This is more or less the sum of what happened in Madrid last week, the best detail could be described as follows:
I miss you and I'll be back soon, it's a promise...

Fly Away

2006-10-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

It's been horrible weeks since I disconnected the brain the last time. Except for that solar shaking soul mood I had a few days ago, it was just working on and on, I need to ricover, so following the advice of Lenny, I'll fly away to Madrid, to find confort in loved arms.
When I'll be back the same shit will be waiting me but yet I'll be better prepared to face it. I only have a few weeks left before graduating (if the professor doesn't get crazy in the meaentime) and then I'll finally be free, it should be a relief even though now it scares a little. Can you imagine after all this endless working, from one day to the other it comes the great nothing. I find it scary, but don't worry, I'll spend a few days watching the ceiling anyway.
I'll write something when I'll get back from Madrid.

Life on the run

2006-10-15T05:10:00.000-07:00

Solar Shaking Soul

2006-10-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

It's such a good day today, I don't know why I woke up in an excellent mood. I went out early in the morning for the bookshop. I took my time while picking the one I wanted to buy. The sn was high but it was a chilly morning. When I wa back I watched a movie and ate. It's been a cooled, relaxed morning. For a few hours in a long time I haven't had any anxiety on my mind. I made great projects, as usual, I thought of the future but in a dreaming not-oppressive way.
From time to time it do happen to find ourselves in a peaceful activity state. It happen to me today and let me suggest to give it a shot, it's like rehab.
Take care

King George

2006-09-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I saw King George, a good camrade, whose ideas about politics I really liked. Especially the vision of secret plots in Italy to subdue democracy that were made in the past. It was extremely interesting to discuss with him.
There are people from the past you never forget completely. Anyway, this conversations punctured me to restart reading and questioning, not that I forgot how to do it, simply working on the thesis almost 24 hours it has been difficult not to leave a bit aside this passion for italian repubblican history I have always had. But I'll make up to it.
Thank you King George

...write and rewrite

2006-09-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

Rain, clouds and bad mood arrived now in Rome. It looks like autumn finally got here even though there might be a little bit more of sun in the next weeks I'm afraid this is the wheather we will have until next year. It refelcts a lot on my personal esprit, I really am influenced by grey.
Today I spoke with the professor as usual, who said my october will be to "write and rewrite" which sounds outstandingly awesome. But anyway I'll get it done. There are good news on the birghtside, I'll be going to Madrid a few days in october which will steal me from work but will recharge my batteries that are frankly a bit down.
Last saturday I needed so badly to unplug from these studying sessions I have that I drank until I was totally shitfaced...it was fun, I threw up in a very discrete manner, not bothering anyone at the party and that was the proof Erasmus trained me to do something (at least). However it was a good time, I saw a lot of people I hadn't been together in years, we chat, drank and chilled.
It was also the occasion to spend some time with a friend I really miss from the old days, someone who has always had a particular space and importance in my universe. It looks like he still has it.

Basketball

2006-09-21T01:08:00.000-07:00

I love playing basketball...
It's a weird week, I work lighter, especially because I don't have the strenght anymore, and I live more. Saying "I live more" I evidently not mean that I found a way to stretch days in oreder to gain a few hours, I refer to the number of things done in one day.
Anyway, I'd like to spend a few words on the Pope's standings about Islam he took about a week ago. I do think that someone who always wants (and obtains) to be a political reference, should act with a political behaviour, like politicians are trained to do (or are supposed to be).
For the first time in history a Pope has rephrased. He said "sorry guys, but maybe you didn't read me correctly". I was a bit astonished, I'm quite used to hear politicians do that, but frankly I couldn't imagine the Pope to review his positions.
Anyway I hope everyone is fine, I can't really get in touch with all of you, at first I thought a lot of people just didn't know about the new blog, then I realized there was a preference who wouldn't let not memebers to leave comments, so now I know that some of you might have tried with no success. How sad. I hope lots and lots more of godsons will reach the godfather's house. Cheers

September rain

2006-09-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

It's rainy in Rome, it's been two shitty days wheaterly speaking...anyway I kept working as usual, hoping my bloody relator won't make stories monday morning as he is quite too much used to do these days. I've been planning a lot lately for my future, if projects will become realities I'll tell about 'em, but for now they occupy the field of "dreams" so I'll keep them for myself.
It's becoming harder and harder to keep in touch with everyone, especially FUBIS guys. Now you're finally in Europe but I really don't have the chance to come and visit, at least for the moment. But we'll have our chances.
I'm looking forward to have more to write and discuss, for now I'm deeply sorry toremark that I'm fucking boring, doing only work and not having great subjects of conversation.
Take Care

Desperate

2006-09-11T05:44:00.000-07:00

Jeez, I need a vacation...
I'm working hard for the last effort to complete the thesis, even though my professor shows some resistences. It's really hard when people don't aknowledge your work, it seems really easy for them to direct and give orders when it takes more than a smile for you to achieve results.
Anyway I'm a little disgusted by a lot of small things, mostly part of the past, that are in addiction the reasons why being in Rome is so hard. I'm bored here, I feel strongly the sensation to have wasted a lot of time in the past and I need to believe the best is yet to come. I have great plans, maybe dreams, but on that I'll try as hard as I can...I will leave this damned city and country, one way or another.
On the other hand evenings are quite happily spent these days, I hang out with nice people (which I need in order to avoid becoming crazy), and have good time.
I hope everyone is enjoying what they're doing,

hugs

Paying a debt

2006-09-07T02:41:00.000-07:00

It was a long time ago when I first wanted to publish these words. I never had the chance and now finally I'll turn them public. they tell a little about me and a little about everyone around me. Best secrets and joys I'll only tell later, for now let's make it up to you, I'm really sorry...

First days of august 2006:
"It's been almost a month, I know. I'm in Brussels, having fun, enjoying life feeling really good vibrations...but unfortunately not able to have an internet connection in my place so after a number of attempts in some really dirty paki call centers i finally succeed in writing a couple of words for y'all. I'm working hard for the thesis, meeting old and new friends, rebuilding bridges of friendship between Italy and Belgium. The work proceeds slow and full of obstacles but I should be able to get it done within the deadline.
I called my brother yesterday, with the family spread all over the world it's important to keep in touch with everyone. He seemed happy and excited for this thing he started. I envy him in a way because when I had the chance to do it (by the way he's doing his fourth year of high school in the US) I didn't.
Anyway, in less than two weeks I'm back in my hometown once again, I think I'll never get used to goodbyes and coming backs. Sometimes I'd like to be more a jerk, not so passionate about people and places. It really tears you apart to leave someone knowing there's not much of a chance to see each other again. On the other hand I feel like living everyday like it's the last one, saving every breath I take for how emotional it is.
It's been an healthy time though. I'm playing basketball almost every day, I'm eating good stuff, I mean healthy stuff, lots of vegetables, and I finally changed my drinking habits, since until the end of erasmus it really was too much...
I miss people, my people. I spoke to Miquel a couple of days ago and there's maybe a tiny chance to get together, with Silvia as well, back in Rome before he starts working. Gerardo apparently works hard and doesn't have time for coming, on the other hand he is in sweet company so...I cheer fo that. Shay told me he's planning his German semester, Alix should be right now with Omer and Kyle in Texas and she became a taunt! No news of Joao and Arne who should be still in Portugal and China. Diego is in Barcelona, I spoke a little with him yesterday, he seemed happy. As for the gentle american guys met in Munich a couple of weeks ago, I'm still regretting not to have met you here in BXL, it's such a shame, especially because I'm not sure about coming soon to LA :(
Pablo, Luis and Alejandro are still in Brussels, haven't met them yet though. Jarco and Agueda left not too much ago for Spain before leaving to California where they'll spend the next academic year.
And I think that's pretty much makin'it up to date.
I think a lot of you all, people mentioned here, and people I'm not that much (or anymore) in touch with, the reflects of this year of madness on me are impressive and if it did any good it's all thanks to you. I hope someday we'll find a way to spend the time of a beer together, as we once did. I miss you, I love you, I hug you.
Take care, I'll try to do the same"

New Space, New Life

2006-09-07T02:23:00.000-07:00

Here we are again all together in peace. The godfather needed to change environment to keep writing so we moved. Hope the same people coming there will come here, I'll try to keep it up to date as much as possible.
cheers